Spalding



Wanking History:  Puberty, 2008 (Supporter)
Strengths:  Skanky, will haunt the fuck out of you when he dies, "I Wank -- therefore I am."
Weaknesses:  If continues to swim in 50 degree lake may haunt us sooner than we think.




When did I first get the calling?
I’ve known I was a wanker for a long time now, but I never knew I could be a Skanky Wanker until the Paulinator asked me if I’d like to be an athletic supporter.  Nothing I love better than supporting a couple pairs…of teammates.

Who were my earliest influences?

What message do I have for kids who are thinking of picking up the Skanky lifestyle...
Kids, I know you probably see your parents wake up at 6am and go off to work and spend all day there making money to pay the bills.  And I know the Skanky lifestyle looks glamorous, but its hard work.  I mean waking up around noon, not showering or shaving, the constant smell of body odor and rusty golf clubs.  Somedays I can barely make it through.  Kids if you really wanna be a Wanker, dropout of school, stop bathing, and don’t forget to bring a towel.

The best thing about being a Skanky Wanker is...
The envy of everyone else.

The worst thing about being a Skanky Wanker is...
Digging through the rough for Super Dave and Skankmaster D’s balls.

My favorite memory of the tourney is...

The thing I wish I could do over is...

Swing more.  I mean I got a couple a swings in but I need more swinging.

Next year I will...
Be swinging all weekend, baby.

Next year the team should...
Be fruitful and multiply.

Team theme song - 

Team smell - 

Team mascot - 

Team STD -
I don’t know what it is, but it really itches and I think I feel it crawling around.

If I was to sandbag one team member in hopes of bringing in a ringer, it would be...
Sandbag a teammate no, T-bag a teammate yes.