Starsky


Wanking History:  Puberty, 1998-1999, 2001-2002
  Theme Song:  "Do Ya Wanna Funk?" by Sylvester
  "Wanna make $14 the hard way?"  (Al Czervik dances with Judge Smails' wife.)
Strengths:  Big hitter; reflectorized butt lulls enemies into a false sense of security; removeable pant legs keep Skankettes enthralled.
Weaknesses:  Too preppy; known to pick fights with lawn sprinklers; completely fucking nuts.


- When did I first get the calling?  Who were my earliest influences?
DEFINITELY STARSKY AND HUTCH, THE DONNY AND MARIE SHOW AND MY
VISIT TO CALIFORNIA WHEN TWELVE.

- What message do I have for kids who are thinking of picking up the Skanky lifestyle...
FIND STRONG SMELLING FOODS THAT WILL ALTER THE SMELL OF YOUR
SWEAT AFTER YOU HAVE EATEN THEM, EG GARLIC, COFFEE, ETC...

- The best thing about being a Skanky Wanker is...
ALL OF THE PUBIC (PUBLIC) ADORATION.

- The worst thing about being a Skanky Wanker is...
NO MORE LEMONADE ON THE BEACHES OF SPAIN.

- My favorite memory of the tourney is...
1ST TEE BOX OF PLAYOFF ROUND, PAULINATOR ACCUSES OPPONET OF GIVING HIM THE FINGER, DUCHESS TEES OFF WITH NO PANTS.

- The thing I wish I could do over is...
WIN THE TOURNEY.

- Next year I will... 
WIN THE TOURNEY, HAVE MORE MUSIC SELECTION.

- Next year the team should... 
WIN THE TOURNEY.

- Team theme song 
"MY NAME IS LUKA" BY SUZANNE (SKANKETTE) VEGA.

- Team smell 
DRURIAN.

- Team mascot 
Mephitis mephitis (SCIENTIFIC NAME FOR SKUNK), ALSO USED AS BATTLE CRY.

- Team STD 
WARTS.

- If I was to sandbag one team member in hopes of bringing in a ringer, it would be...
WELL, THE PAULINATOR IS VERY CONSISTENT AND SKILLED, TURBO IS CONSISTENT AS WELL, DUCHESS IS NEEDED FOR PERIODIC "MIRACLE SHOT"
WHICH LEAVES me, OH NO!  I ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE ONLY REASON WE DID NOT TAKE 1ST WAS THE RADICAL DEPARTURE MADE FOR THIS OUTING, NOW THAT WE KNOW HOW IT FEELS AND ARE IN THE GROOVE THE EXHILARATING NEWNESS WILL NOT BE A DISTRACTION BUT WILL EMPOWER TO THE NTH DEGREE.  THE TEAM SHOULD STAY THE SAME.